When I was going through a huge personal crisis in mid 1980s, I was very fortunate to have a very good head of department. He checked on me every morning in my office for quite a while on the pretext of having breakfast with me. I remember he often said to me "Always look at what you have, instead of what you have lost. Those who do not like you are not worth your energy, those who need and love you are the ones you should focus on. Think of your children, your father and your mother". That piece of advice really made an impression on me. I memorized that and quietly repeated it to myself every morning and every night before going to bed. Over time I slowly regained my self confidence and self-esteem. After that I had a career change when I was posted to a different department and missed my breakfasts with him. Bless him!
I realized that over time I had unconsciously ingrained in my mind the advice he gave me. For a long time already I had actually learnt to quickly get over disappointments and not worrying about the "whys", either in the office environment or in personl relationships. I may get upset for a while or confide my unhappiness in a friend, but I always quickly tell myself, " it is not worth wasting my energy on" and I would feel better quite immediately.
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