Time for bonding

Bangkok a bustling city.  Nice. Will be back. Most of all I enjoyed the bonding with my 3 grown up "kids".

Just a thought

I don't expect anything

善待暮年的自己

北京著名女作家杨绛於2016 年 5月高齡105 歲過世. 下面是她在103 歲時的一段鼓勵：

【善待暮年】

花開花謝，潮起潮落，不經意間我們正走向人生的暮年。

從呱呱墜地到兩鬢染霜，歲月的行囊裡装滿了酸甜苦辣。接下來，在夕陽的路上能走多遠，取决於我們的體魄和心態。

在曾經的歲月裡，每個人都會有大小不一的光環，但這光環已是“過去式”。當光環退去，誰都是柴米油鹽，誰都是一介布衣。

“我們曾如此渴望命運的波瀾，到最後才發現：人生最曼妙的風景，竟是内心的淡定與從容。

我們曾如此期望外界的認可，到最後才知道，世界是自己的，與他人毫無關係。”

今天，我們生活的國度裡，銀髮浪潮席卷而來，老年人的比例越來越高，年輕人的負擔越来越重。老年朋友們，何不錯開尖峰時間出行，给公共交通緩解壓力，與年輕人相互理解、相互關懷、相互尊重，何樂而不為？

不要满懷焦灼期待子女常回家看看。子女們有各自的生活和事業，他們像永不停歇的陀螺一樣，上有老下有小，“老”是“夕陽”，“小”是“朝陽”。“朝陽”總比“夕陽”更令人關注和憧憬，這是動物繁衍生息的法則，是規律，誰也不能違背。記住，年輕人永遠比老年人忙。

人生，夫妻也好，母女父子也罷，不管是怎樣的水乳交融、心心相繫，每個人都是生命的獨立個體，因此，我們要學會在孤獨的時候给自己安慰，在寂寞的時候给自己温暖。

老要有老的風骨，老要有老的優雅，正如春華秋實，四季輪迴，各有風采。

暮年是美好生活的開始，是一種從容、恬闊、悠哉遊哉的状態。願我們保持一顆寧静的心，少些期盼、多些寬容，寵辱不驚、去h 留無礙，微笑向前，善待暮年的自己。

I just love this piece by a Chinese author who wrote it when she was 103.  She passed away in May 2016 when she was 105.   Generally she is advising us to grow old gracefully and to be good to ourselves.

Being comfortable in your own skin is the beginning of strength

The moment will arrive when you are comfortable with who you are, and what you are - bald or old or fat or poor, successful or struggling -when you don't feel the need to apologize for anything or to deny anything.  To be comfortable in your own skin is the beginning of strength - Charles B. Handy    

無私的愛

你們必須記得，母愛才是天底下最無私的愛.

一生一世把你放在心上

這世間除開母親 沒有誰會一生一世把你放在心上了

所以， 別做不孝之人
假如 真母親的走了， 就再也沒有誰會心無雜念對待你了， 所以， 別傷母親的心， 在母親的有生之年裡，多 給母親一些快樂

 

May our journey be as serene as early morning dew

May our hearts be filled with joy,
The profound joy of simple things.

May our journey continue in peace,
As serene as early morning dew

Clockwise: Birthday cake from son, birthday lunch with sister,
 selfie on my birthday, birthday gift I bought for myself

Sometimes you need to be alone

Pictures and selfie on my late morning walk today

Warm ties

The ideal, of course, is a close and warm relationship with our independent adult children.  There are some adult children who are truly wonderful about maintaining close and warm ties with their parents. But reality, for many parents, is quite different.

Bonding time with my adult elder son

Tugging at your heartstrings

Some images that tugged at my heartstrings for different reasons.

When someone you love is hurting

You know they are hurting and it cuts you into a million pieces.

You want to do everything.  You’ll do anything. You will do whatever is in your power to make them stop hurting but you feel like you can do nothing.

Watching people you love suffer is not just painful. It takes everything out of you. You’re so distraught that you can actually feel some physical side effects. It makes you feel unwell and always under the weather.

How is it possible that you feel the hurt just as much as them?  You are not experiencing what they’re experiencing, but you also hurt when they hurt.

People who really love you

Presents don't really mean much to me. What I treasure is the realization that I have many people in my life who really love me, and who I really love. Happy birthday to my only daughter!

I love my alone times

I love purple

With your personality color purple you inspire others with your creative thinking and your ability to deal positively with adversity.

You are very intuitive and quite psychic or at least interested in spiritual growth or the occult - you seek spiritual fulfillment. You look for the meaning of life.

My purple flowers this morning

人的一生你只欠兩個人

記住：人的一生你只欠兩個人！

 

 

 

人的一生只欠兩個人的：其一是母親，其二就是父親。「身體髮膚，受之父母」，一個人依託父母來到這個世...

by 佛緣心語

One of those things which gives value to survival

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art.... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” 
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Thoroughly enjoyed the company of my secondary school classmates today.

The most painful experience

The end of a marriage is one of the most emotionally painful human experiences. Yes, I know. Divorce is not just a matter of the heart but an experience that impacts the whole person on a multitude of levels.

Seeing someone you truly care about going through the same emotions I experienced almost 3 decades ago is even more painful. I want to say to him, "Give yourself the time and space to heal and repair. You are not destroyed, just temporarily devastated, and the recovery will come with time". 

 

May all my loved ones be happy always 

After years apart

The good part about old friends, after years apart chasing our own dreams and living our own lives, is that we still have so many fond memories in common.

 

This too shall pass

One of my favorite sayings is “this too shall pass.” It has indeed served me well through life’s ups and downs.

“This too shall pass” is relevant in good times and in bad. When things are going your way, enjoy it because there will come a time when this changes. And when you’re going through a rough patch it would not hurt forever for you’ll eventually get through it and overcome the emotional upheavals over time, sooner than you realize.

 

Those who have me in their thoughts

This year I changed my approach for the hari raya celebration. Instead of sending out invitations I just waited for visitors. Those of my friends and relatives who have me in their thoughts will come and actually, those I think will come,came . he..hehe

Elder abuse awareness

I learnt something new today.  Apparently 15 June is UN's World Elder Abuse Awareness Day. And, research has shown that abuse of the elderly is on the rise, be it physical, social, emotional or financial abuse. Research also showed that older women over the age of 80 are most at risk and their own children are likely to be the perpetrators!

The advice given to the elderly is prevention and early intervention.  Anyone who thinks he could be at risk are advised to take the following measures:

• Appoint an independent attorney for financial matters
• Get independent advice
• Keep the will up-to-date
• Make loans legally binding
• If one moves in with family members or they move in with you, formally agree on your living arrangements, preferably in a documented  form. 

Something to ponder on!


Mmm...Who's abusing who? He..he..

 

Live beneath your means, return everything you borrow

So true!

When I die

Their life has become lonely

A bad case of lazy bones

I have been bitten by a bad case of the lazy bones.  I seem to go through  these episodes once  in a while, not reading as I  usually do, not even the newspapers, neglecting my assignments and not even bothering to write anything here.   I am hoping that this first step I am  making today will get me back on track.

Nothing has ever taken precedence over being a mother

Spent Mother's Day today at our favourite chicken farm.  Thoroughly enjoyed the company of the girls.

For me, nothing has ever taken precedence over being a mother and having a family.

 

My three children and daughter-in-law

 

Link to our past, bridge to our future

In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future. 

- Alex Haley

April is the time of the year again when we sit down for dinner as a family to celebrate my 2 sons' birthdays,
born 3 years and 3 days apart in April  

Why some people are hot tempered?

I did a quick search.  Some of the reasons why some people are hot tempered?

They are insecure

Sometimes a person loses his temper when he gets others totally wrong. People who are insecure usually believe that others are making fun of them or disrespecting them. Such a way of thinking can make a person lose his temper very often.

Their anger gauge is already full

People who have some unsolved problems that make them angry are very likely to lose their temper faster. The accumulation of such problems results in making the person's anger gauge almost full that he explodes as soon as anything happens.

           They are impatient

Impatience can contribute to short temper. A person who is very impatient is very likely to lose his temper fast compared to a patient person.

They are dissatisfied with their lives

People who are dissatisfied with their lives are more likely to lose their temper fast. The fact that those people are unhappy yet don't have control over their lives motivates them to release some of the frustration they are experiencing through anger. 

What is the best way to deal with some one like that?  I am still trying to figure it out.   In the meantime I'll just try to avoid them?

Like the flower, the past cannot be trapped that way

“Like a flower pressed flat and dried, we try to hold it still and say, this is exactly how it was the day I first saw it. But like the flower, the past cannot be trapped that way. It loses its fragrance and and its vitality, its fragility becomes brittleness and its colors fade. And when next you look on the flower, you know that it is not at all what you sought to capture, that that moment has fled forever.”
― Robin Hobb, Fool's Errand    

Captured at its best moment

Capturing this moment before it fades away

A bond that diminishes never

At a roadside restaurant in the rural outback with sis WL and brother TH.
3 bowls of noodles and 4 glasses cold drinks  only cost us RM 16.  The noodles were pretty good too.

A sister /brother is a sister /brother forever,
A bond that diminishes never